Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Been Thinking About...College

So the issue of college has wafted across my consciousness the last couple of weeks.  There was a lively discussion on Facebook about whether it was good for girls to go to college. Then my blog friend Annie Kate had a discussion about college.

http://anniekateshomeschoolreviews.com/2011/09/weekly-wrap-up-harvesting-debt-free-college-and-addition-drill/

Our eldest daughter, Naomi, is 11.  So she's ONLY 6 or 7 years from potentially being ready to attend college.  And given that many homeschooled teens start attending community colleges during high school, it could be earlier still.

Here are my perspective and my thoughts right now.  I'm sure they will change and adapt as our children grow.

First, some background. Kevin and I both have Ph.D's in engineering.  You don't get a Ph.D. without an amazing amount of time in college.  We each spent close to 10 years attending college.  (Ack, ack!  Just writing that amazes me!)

The good news was that we both graduated with comparitively little debt.  We were both blessed to have substantial scholarships as undergrads, and graduate school was paid for.  Kevin went on the Air Force's dime.  He committed to many years of working for the Air Force in return for them (it?) paying for his Ph.D.  I got fellowships and assistantships in college, so while I had to live modestly, I did not  incur any debt.

Kevin has spent the last 11 years working as an engineer on base.  His salary is good, and he is able to comfortably support our large family. 

I got my Ph.D., got married, worked full time for 2 years as Kevin finished his Ph.D., and then had Naomi.  And then had many more babies.  I have actually worked on a very part time basis most of the time I was a mother.  I taught one class a quarter at a local university for a few years.  For the last 7  years, I've worked one day a week at the Air Force base where Kevin works.

So, some questions. 

1.  Do I think that college is necessary for everyone?

NO!  I do not.  Some young people have skills and gifts that are not best served by a college education.  I love the idea of apprenticeships for some young people.  I would say that MOST people would benefit from some kind of post high school training, however. There are jobs out there that require a high school diploma, but they generally (not always) don't pay particularly well. I am not obsessed with salary, I really am not.  But I know that if a couple of blessed with many children, it is a struggle to get by on poverty level income. It can be done, but it is really tough. 

2.  Do I think that girls should go to college?

  Well, maybe.  See #1...obviously I don't think every young woman should go to college.  There are those who argue, however, that a young woman shouldn't go to college at all because she should be focused on being a wife and mother.
  I resonate with that a little.  I don't remotely think that a woman being "only" a wife and mother is a demeaning thing, like some feminists imply . That is absurd.  Being a stay at home mother is a wonderful calling.  I am SO thankful that my husband is commmitted to me being home most of the time. And he is very happy to have me here.
  Having said that, my argument for women pursuing some kind of career has a lot to do with not "testing God".  Let me explain THAT.

  It seems to me that if parents are focused on training their girls up to be wives and mothers, they are making the obvious assumption that the girls will get married, and get married relatively young.  I personally have known more than one godly young lady who greatly desired to get married, but it didn't happen at all or until the lady was much older than she desired.  I have a dear, dear friend who longed for marriage in her early 20's, and God led her to her husband when she was 37!   The timing was perfect from God's perspective, if not for my friend's perspective.  (They have 3 children, praise God!  That is one dicey thing about late marriages, in my view...the possibility of not being able to have children.)

  So, I would prefer not to have all our eggs in one basket for our girls.  One of my grandmothers married at age 30.  My parents married at 20 or 21.  I married at 26.  Sometimes a woman doesn't get married young, and in this day and age she may need to support herself in some way.

3.  But what about college debt?

  Ok, here is where I want to jump up and down and scream.

 Yes, I think college can be appropriate for young women. But, but, but!  They should do everything possible not to have a huge amount of debt when they graduate.  That's true of boys too, but maybe especially for girls.  Because what if a young lady does go to college and graduates with lots of debt, finds the man God has for her, and gets married? 

  With lots of debt?

  I think she is stuck to some degree, or at least she and her husband are greatly burdened.  They may be led to have children right away, but the debt will drive them towards the wife working full time and/or delaying childbearing. 

 That's an unpleasant situation.

  I'm definitely not of the view that a young person needs to "go away to college" to be fulfilled in life.  Jesus didn't.  I mean, we don't know for sure what he did until age 30, but he was still in Nazareth so was probably living as a carpenter with his mother.

  There seems to be this idealistic view that college is the place where a young person matures and "finds" him or herself.  I think college can be a positive experience but it isn't necessary that a young person LIVE on campus.

Also, what do we look for in a college?  There are books and articles that have discussed this far more superbly than I can, but let me say this...many so called "superior" universities are not providing a particularly good education.

I'm going to gently slam the University of Michigan, where I got my Ph.D.  The graduate school was very good.  I would argue the undergraduate engineering programs have their flaws...namely, most professors put teaching at the bottom of their priority list and sometimes it shows.  Add to that the truth that many classes are taught by graduate students (yes, I taught classes) and sometimes those grad. students (through no fault of their own) had major communication issues because English was not their first language.

And here's another pet peeve I have about U of M.  They put tons of money into their atheletic program. I actually like college football, but the truth is that while football MIGHT make money, most athletic programs in college are totally money sinks.  All those salaries and scholarships are being paid for by the common student.  And are athletics remotely vital for learning a profession?

U of M of course isn't alone about athletics...many top tier universities spend a lot of money on athletcis.

So my thought, for now, is that yes... probably our kids will go to college. But likely they will go locally and live at home.  Likely they will go to a community college for a couple of years. 

I pray that they can avoid going into much debt.  We can't afford to send them to Harvard.  But perhaps we and they can work together to pay for a local school with modest tuition prices.

Well, that's probably enough cogitating for now...

4 comments:

♥ Naomi ♥ said...

What does "cogitating" mean? :)

Naomi

Sarah said...

Hello Laraba, may I chime in? LOL under point number 1 - a college degree does not mean that someone won't be living at poverty level. We are only $100 away from qualifying for food assistance, that means one more baby we could technically get federal assistance for our food. Don has a bachelor's degree and I have an associate's degree. He is also a social worker, so while someone may have a college degree that doesn't always mean they'll have a great income. My mom is an ANP (Advanced Nurse Practitioner) and her salary is staggering. Don's job is VERY hard and trying but he doesn't get paid what he should - social workers should get paid more than they do especially when one thinks how much professional sports get and do nothing as hard as my husband. I know how hard his job is because I used to work in the same capacity. So a college degree doesn't always mean one will get a good paying job. Of course we'd be even worse off if I went to work, paying for child care after school, private school tuition, work clothes for me, gas for me, vehicle maint., school uniforms, etc. I'm not saying we are poverty level- when I think of those in Africa we are so very, very rich although I know many would disagree with me - so if the Lord gives us more children in a two bedroom house, we'll be content and continue to be blessed but while we still have a roof over our head, food in the cupboard and clothes for our bodies we are richer than some of the people living right in my own city. I see some people with large houses and lots of things that are poor in comparison to us. Oh and getting by isn't that tough, yes we don't have the disposable income that others may have but that means we rely more on the Lord and get more creative in the things we do do.

Sarah said...

cogitate: consider carefully and deeply; reflect upon; turn over in one's mind

cogitate: se or exercise the mind or one's power of reason in order to make inferences, decisions, or arrive at a solution or judgments; "I've been thinking all day and getting nowhere"

Annie Kate said...

As for girls going to college, I, too support the idea of stay at home moms. But I support the ideas of girls going to school.
1.Girls should use their talents, too, rather than burying them. If they have ability and desire, let them study.
2.I have seen marriages where the wife doesn't know what hubby is doing. That's not as good as a situation where the wife can understand and even help hubby, as I can because of my (extensive) education.
3.Furthermore, any mom needs to know as much as possible for the sake of her children, especially if she wants to homeschool them. Restricting education for future homeschooling moms is foolish!

That being said, college is often a wicked, dangerous place. That must be given consideration as well.

Thanks for a good post. I only just saw it today because you referred to it in your other post. :)

Annie Kate
http://anniekateshomeschoolreviews.com/