Thursday, October 3, 2013

Having Children Close Together


  People ask me often, "So, did you grow up in a large family?"

The answer is no.  I am the eldest of 3 children, and the only daughter.  Kevin is also from a relatively small family -- he has one sister.

  So we broke out of the typical family mold in having many children.

  We ALSO are quite different from earlier generations because of the spacing of our family.  It is probably normal for people to think the family they grew up with is typical.  The children in our family were spaced apart quite a bit -- 4 years separate me and my younger brother Jeff, and then there were another 4 years before Darrell appeared on the scene.

  When I first contemplated having children, I vaguely thought we'd have 3 kids, and they would be spaced apart say...4 years.  Because you know, that's normal!  What is with those weird people having kids really close together?

  And then a year into our marriage, we heard God's call to let Him plan our family size.  We had a 9 month wait before we conceived our first, so I really was not expecting a large family.  I was already 30 when we had Naomi -- seriously, how many kids could we have?

  Well obviously we had many!  And the first 6 came at ABOUT 18 month intervals.  When our 6th child was born, Naomi was a few months short of 8.  Then we lost 3 babies to miscarriage, and there was a 3+ year gap between our 6th and 7th child.  I truly thought that Sarah would be our youngest as I was 41...but to our surprise and delight, the Lord blessed us with Daniel. Who is almost exactly 18 months younger than Sarah.

  For most of our childbearing years, we have had 2 small people at the same time.  And honestly, it is a little bit crazy.  Right now, for example, Sarah blesses us with tantrums EVERY SINGLE DAY.  95% of the time, she has a meltdown just when she gets up. I adore her but have to admit that every morning I brace myself when she gets up, because she is going to get really upset about something.  Examples are...she doesn't want to use the potty, she doesn't want to take off her Pull-Up, she can't find the blanket she wants, and I put her milk in the wrong sippy cup.  Yes, earthshattering, traumatic stuff.

 Daniel is not as willful and grumpy, but he is into EVERYTHING.  Everything.  He likes to play with computers and turn them off and on, which is terrible for the computers.   He likes to open the toilet lid and put his hands in the toilet, or worse yet, throw toys INTO the toilet.  (As an aside, I've read that the inside of most toilets are surprisingly clean because of the frequent flushing.)  He climbs up on things, and falls off of them. I am thankful he still sleeps a lot, and sleeps well, because as much as I love him he is also a ton of work.

So here I am, making sure I spend time with my sweet husband, teaching 6 kids, maintaining a house, and trying to keep 2 little people from hurting themselves.  It definitely isn't easy. 

 Of course I adore every one of my child to the moon and back.  And while having kids close together is challenging at times, there are definite advantages too.  Our kids have built in friends, and one of the delights of the last month has been seeing Sarah and Daniel start playing together.  Outside, they climb up slides, and push each other down.  In the study, which is really more of a playroom, they are starting to interact while playing.  Our older children play together all the time. They make up stories and go outside and swing together.  While I love  my brothers, the age difference was quite substantial and I don't remember playing together when we were young nearly as much as our children do.

There are positives to any situation...more space between children allows for a calmer life in many ways, probably. I am content, no -- delighted, by the plan God had for our family.  Life may be hectic and crazy, but it isn't boring, and I am very happy our children get to learn compromise and patience and longsuffering and how to have tons of fun with a bunch of siblings.





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